He’s a true patriot. And don’t ask to see his birth certificate. He was born in Bedlam, Minnesota to working class parents. His father was an artist/writer and his mother was a piano teacher, but due to the enormity of his hands, he had a difficult time mastering Chopin. As his overarching political platform and agenda continue to take shape, there are a few things he’s adamant about. Though he is loosely affiliated with the Surprise Party, he also stands for some simple things we can all believe in:
- No Nude Taxes
- Two-For-One Tuesdays
- Three-Day Weekends
- Four-Pack Abs
- 5x the Fun
- Free Coffee Fridays
- Bolder Brand Strategies
- Better Creative for All
Big Orange Yeti has a platform, but what he really needs now is a campaign slogan. Please submit your suggestions in six words or less to the Spyglass Facebook page or email [email protected]. Big Orange Yeti and our nation thank you.